How to lose 5kg (or more) in 2 Months (or less) & have chocolate (or wine) everyday

Ladies and gentleman, I present to you the secret, the magic, the formula, the answer to weight loss! No medications or operations or suctions of any kind needed (in some sense you don’t even need to exercise, although beneficial), no cutting out of sugar or carbs or salts or fats (unless you want to do it for a specific health reason). The key to it all: a calorie deficit.

Before we jump right in, I first want you to take a look at your body. The body that walks you around, the one that washes dishes and washing, the one that gave birth or aided in making a child, the one that gets you through life every single day, your temple, your vessel, the body that no-one else has, your body. Your beautiful, under-appreciated, overworked, magnificent body. The one you should love now, the one you should have loved 5 years ago and the one you will love in 5 years. Remember no-one will love yourself as much as you do. Got stretch marks? I call them tiger stripes, battle wounds, marks of the warrior. Got cellulite? I prefer the term dimples (everyone loves a smile dimple), the skins constellation, my bodies history books. Before even attempting to embark on a weight loss journey first and foremost love yourself as you are and thank your body for all the amazing things it does for you. Secondly, always remember that you are NOT fat, you have fat, so do I, we all do. Lastly, don’t give two ****…. stars…. about what society or anyone else thinks of you and your body. You are special, you are beautiful and you are blessed.

If you’re ready for this journey, continue with me, if not, reflection and introspection is healthy and always advisable. Don’t be too hard on yourself, however, if you want to challenge yourself, go right ahead! Trust yourself and enjoy the process. Make yourself proud, love yourself in a different way and eat that damn chocolate!

A calorie deficit is not a diet in its entirety, but it is the overall structuring under which all those fancy diets fall (paleo, keto, no carbs, no sugar, the one your neighbours’ sisters’ ex-husbands’ new wife told you about, the apple and coke diet, the eat nothing and starve while people are really starving in this country diet). Starting off, calories are the units of energy you get from everything you eat and drink and the units of energy you burn off through walking, digesting food, running, being alive, exercising, etc. So in order to lose weight, you just have to burn more calories than you take in. Easy. Not always easy, but it can be! Every food type has its own amount of calorie contents, some way more than other, some almost nothing. So I’m not saying you should eat less, but if you want to keep your favourite foods incorporated you’re going to have to lessen their intake and substitute it for foods lower in calories. So the pain of this whole thing is that cooking oils, spices, wine, all those added items that you don’t technically eat also have to be taken into consideration. So you might be eating healthy every day, but are you taking your oil and mayonnaise dressing into account? You would be shocked at the number of calories any cooking oil (coconut, olive, canola, sunflower, avocado, etc) contain, and even more so with the sauces!

Don’t let that put you off! Simply start by counting your calories! If your calories are too many, have smaller portions or substitute for less caloric dense options. It will always be easier to eat food that makes you fuller for longer and that is healthier for your body such as your fibres and your vegetables, but every body is different and needs different fuelling. The easiest way to keep track of your calories would be through an app or an online platform (feel free to ask me more about this if you are interested). Using calorie calculators can also help you determine how much your body needs to function regularly based on your weight, height, gender, age and physical activity levels. So upon determining all of this you can start by either eating in a caloric deficit or by burning excess calories through exercise. Here’s an example:

An average woman needs about 2 000 calories per day. If she were to be in a calorie deficit through eating, she would thus eat 1 500 calories per day instead of her 2 000. Or if she were to be in a calorie deficit through exercise, she would eat 2 000, but burn 500. (burning 500 calories is very hard though, trust me). The third (and best) option would be to eat 1 700 calories and burn 200 calories, again leaving you with taking in only 1 500 calories.

Within your eating and burning of calories, you can choose whatever you wish! Including chocolate! From my personal experience, I would have a good healthy breakfast, lunch and dinner, whilst also exercising (even if it’s only walking) and still have my 4 blocks of chocolate to indulge in, and let me tell you, it’s not dark chocolate, it’s my favourite one. So a calorie deficit is all about balance. Balancing of food, balancing of exercise or even balancing activities as simple as walking more if you’re going out for a cocktail tonight for example. Others may make use of intermittent fasting for calorie deficit (a means of fasting for a few hours and eating only within a certain window period). Whatever works for you and whatever keeps you content.

With every great secret though, comes great responsibility. A person cannot gorge themselves on 3 500 calories on Fridays and Saturdays and eat 1 200 calories the rest of the week, that’s not going to work. It takes time and dedication, but if you slip up every once in awhile, that’s totally okay. When my hormones are acting up I eat whole large pizzas and three chocolate slabs by myself in one sitting and that’s fine, because the next day I just go back to it, without punishing myself through under-eating or over-exercising. The dedication might actually be even easier than the actual patience of it. This is not a quick fix, but it is 100% attainable, so don’t treat it like a quick fix, your body still needs calories to function, otherwise, this method won’t work. For example, if you eat too little calories you are putting your body in a starving mode, which in turn will cause your body to store fat instead of burning it (so you’ll be starving and picking up more weight? Honey rather just have your chocolate.) For those of you looking to build muscle, incorporate more protein, for those that love hiking and energy-draining activities that take longer, incorporate more carbohydrates if you are looking to build up your vitamins and better care for your skin incorporate more fats (healthy fats though such as your fish, avocados and nuts). Everybody is different, but we all function the same when it comes to taking in energy and burning energy.

Another easy explanation would be treating bodies like cars, some need diesel, some need petrol, and some need electricity. Whatever your body needs, fuel it, but don’t let it go into its reserve fuel or overfill it that may damage its essential parts. Look after yourself. Easy tips for eating fewer calories include:

1. Intermittent fasting (as mentioned above) controlling the times you eat may make you consume less food overall

2. Do not drink your calories. Thank goodness coffee is only 1 calorie, but milk isn't and neither is sugar, cutting these added things helps already. Swap out sugary drinks for sugar free drinks (You even get delicious sugar free ice tea now, sugar free Fanta and coke with zero sugar) or better yet, stick to water.

3. Increase your over-all activity through walking more, standing more, doing more housework, every bit counts

4. Try to eliminate highly processed foods such as fast foods, breakfast cereals, desserts and sugary beverages

5. Eat home-cooked meals, if you know what you're putting in the food and how much of, it's easier to determine your calorie intake

6. Find an exercise you enjoy, whether it be strength training, yoga, walking, pilates, anything. It really is beneficial for your health in so many ways, even if it is just 20 minutes out of your day.

7. Have a reward system (this is my special method), by eating healthy all day and constricting calories, you can see how many calories you have left near the end of the day, so now you can determine how much of your chocolate you can eat or how many glasses of wine you can drink.

If you are planning on going on a weight loss journey and need extra help or information, please let me know, this is a space for motivation and growth. May you do the same for the next person.

Keep going, keep glowing and keep growing. You’re doing amazing.